We've all been there, where we've messed up or not come up to scratch when it mattered. The expression 'I could have kicked myself' speaks volumes of how we handle the mistakes we make in life – the beating of ourselves emotionally is far more severe than any physical punishment! We don't want to 'let ourselves off the hook'. However, when we continually taunt ourselves for our shortcomings, it ates away at our confidence and esteem.
The concept of self-compassion – where we cultivate a level of kindness that we can show ourselves in our own distress can really help. In that space, we can own up to our mistakes and forgive ourselves- we didn't set out to either 'wrong someone' or fall short. However, we can learn from the experience and move forward with the aspiration to make amends or improve for next time. This way, we feel able to 'let go' otherwise what could be burdensome, emotional baggage...
Most of us are far harder on ourselves than we would ever towards a friend given the same situation. Could we not adopt a friendly, encouraging tone to ourselves like we do to our peers? Being kind isn't something that needs to be reserved just for others... We can be kind to ourselves too so that it motivates us towards positive change.
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