An emotion we can all relate to – few of us have not been angry or that the receiving end of someone else's anger. We experience a conflict – often resulting in our needs not been met (by others) in some way. It's when we feel wronged in a way that matters to us. Perhaps we feel that our values have been violated. Most of us can access that feeling of being angry fairly easily or quickly. Many a people have described that 'red mist' or heat of the moment that arose in anger.
Anger is often seen as unacceptable – children are often told 'Don't be angry' by adults, which can lead to people not feeling able to express this emotion as adolescents or adults. This can have potentially harmful consequences for the individual, particularly if the anger is turned in on themselves. A form of withdrawal within, often depression is described as anger turned inwards. Outwardly expressed anger is similarly problematic for the person concerned as it could effect their relationships with others. Being angry is stressful.
Like an iceberg, while anger presents itself on the surface, underneath there will be another underlying issue. Therefore anger is only part of the presenting symptom. For anger to dissipate, usually the secondary emotion will also need to be addressed. Safely unravelling it with someone over time is helpful. If someone is not ready yet to talk, finding a positive outlet such as exercise can be helpful.
What underlying emotions are lying underneath the anger that you experience?
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